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Cigar smoking is definitely cool. It does have its basis solidly in tradition, but it’s far from old-fashioned. You know what’s not cool? Doing it wrong.
Cigar smoking can contribute style, sophistication and enjoyment to your life, but if you don’t smoke your first one correctly you may leave with the wrong impression. Choosing the wrong cigar will taint your perception of quality, and trying to cut a cigar without correct equipment and technique is just asking for failure. And if you carry out the error of inhaling..bad move.
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When the majority of people hear that a person is “assertive,” their first thought is to equate this with being ‘bossy’ or ‘pushy’. But assertive behavior is a fine way to not only get what you want, but determine mutually-beneficial solutions.
The Story:
So I’m am a regular around my college rec center basketball courts as a way to work out. In the area I usually play, there are 3 basketball courts dedicated to full-court play. Often, I walk in to find a game on a court, and about 20 other guys just waiting to play with their team of 5, despite the fact that there are 2 open courts to play on. This is mostly because most guys are not assertive enough to start a game on one of the other courts. As I’m attempting to live assertively, I often organize a game by locating 9 other people who are also waiting to play. Not only does this benefit me, it benefits the others as soon after there’s a waiting line to play on my court.
This story suggests a number of few pieces of advice for how to become more assertive:
If you’re not used to being assertive, you probably won’t find much profit from taking on your bank to eliminate your monthly service charges for your account alone. Start with individuals before institutions. Learn to deal with individual, free-thinking people, before you start trying to change the bureaucracies of institutions. This approach will also start you on the right foot because you will learn how your position appeals to the individual interests of the person, which leads to the second point.
Humans often act in their own interest. If you can determine how to tell a person that what you want is also what they want, you will find success. In the previous example, I want a game of basketball, and my starting a game will stop the other 9 men from waiting for the current game to end. This is mutually-beneficial and is often accomplished as I explain that what I want is in the interest of the others. This can be extrapolated further -“If you drop the price for this item, I’ll get something else as well.” Use human nature in your advantage, and figure out a way to explain how what you want is what the other person(s) want.
The first time you try to carry this out, you might fail, that’s OK. But, if you aren’t consistent in your attempts, you probably are unlikely to find success in abandoning your passivity. Figure out why your assertive approach did not succeed, and next time alter your approach. After a time, your assertive qualities will become routine, making you a better leader and overall more successful man.
I’ve been prepping the fishing cabin that I own in the north west for winter. The place was a mess and needed a lot of work. A major issue was storage – shelving and some cabinets.
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I found this video covering the “new wave” of barbershops that are growing across America at a pretty steady rate. Modern day men are increasingly becoming tired of going to the sterile salons. Sometimes men just want a place to get away from neutrality and get immersed with the scent of warm lather and the sensation of the straight razor on the back of their neck–things that would be tough to find in the sterile unisex salon.
This is precisely where the new barbershop revival comes into it’s own. Some barber shops, supply awesome beer, shuffleboard , and vintage chairs, all designed specifically to make men feel comfortable. Of course some women may enjoy it as well, and it’s unlikely that they would refuse women service, but these barbershops target men. In most ways, the unisex salon targets women, and men just go along. In this case, men decided to target men, but would let women attend. It’s essentially an identical business model, but approached from the opposite direction.
Men are increasingly appreciating a good shave and cut, and it’s great to see these new barbershops appearing. As a man who feels confident and happy right after a shave and haircut, I salute the efforts of these men and hope to see this trend go on.
Basically – bluffing is the technique of utilizing deception and misdirection to achieve a result. For example, you may wish to secure a raise and so could threaten to leave your job if you don’t get it. You really have no desire to resign, but you may be able to get a raise by running this bluff.
Know Your Opponent
The 1st part of the bluff, whether in poker or in real life, is to know your adversary. Are they going to believe you and your bluff in the first place? Also, are they a person who does not intimidate easily and will call your bluff.
If you are going into your work office to demand a raise “or you’re resigning” you will need to know whether your employer values your work contribution enough and whether the bluff will work. If easily replaceable, then your bluff is doomed to failure.
Don’t Let up That You’re Bluffing
One of the worst things you can do if trying to bluff is give off what is termed a “tell”. Tells are clues that provide your opponent information about your bluff, or in this case your true intentions.
For example, car salesmen are expert at determining tells. They can see when they have a client “on the hook” for a car and with those clients they can extract the maximum amount for the car.
While shopping for a car with these salesmen, you want to carefully hide your tells. Keep to the basic facts about the vehicle and don’t show too much emotion. You might want to shop around in order to counter with prices you have seen at other yards.
Exit Strategy
While bluffing, leave yourself an exit if your bluff is called. For example, you may want to refresh your resume and test the job market prior to asking your boss for a raise. For that car you are looking at, you may want to contact a number of dealerships to determine the best price on the car in the event your dealer doesn’t want to give you the best price.
Providing yourself exits is known as semi-bluffing in poker. You really don’t have the ability to carry through your threat, but in the right circumstances you can still get your desired result.
There are many other methods to improve your bluffing ability, but these three principles are great ways to start fine-tuning your bluffing skills in poker or the real world.
There’s something about those inter-webs that spins a relatively mild-mannered guy into a ranting moron. In a place where openly sharing your opinions is so straightforward, many guys these days massively “over-share”, usually via the political rant, ongoing sports commentary, or everyday updates about life. We all know about the breakfast intagram.
To me, the most annoying occurrence of oversharing on the internet is the political rant. I like a decent political debate just as much as anyone else, but unfortunately there isn’t much actual debate going on, and most of it is mindless zombie-like blathering. Sure, there are certain crannies and nooks on the net where intelligent debate thrives, but for the most part it’s idiots voicing their views and opinions as facts with one underlying theme: “if anyone disagrees, they are wrong.” Here’s how to not be a jerk if talking politics on the web:
1. Don’t say a thing. Maybe sharing a provocative URL is all you need to do. Leave your own commentary off and let your link speak for itself.
2. Accept opposing views, and thank the person for providing them. “Great. Thanks for your feedback Uncle Bob!” While you might be seething internally, just accept that others see things in different lights and move fofrward.
3. Engage with your dissenters, but engage with their ideas, not with them personally. When you start to label your opponent you’re going into dangerous territory, and this is where internet debates always go astray.
4. Exchange places. Consider, “If what they’re saying is correct, what ramifications would there be?” If you place yourself in their shoes, you might realize they have a decent point…or maybe they don’t.
5. Use correct grammar. Once you start TYPING IN UPPER CAPS AND BOLDING WITHOUT REASON, people cease reading. Nothing makes you look like a moron faster than engaging caps lock.
6. Keep it minimal. No one really wants to read your 20 links a day about African children. Yes, it’s really sad, but consider about how much information you disregard on the net every day. Why? Because it’s commonly from a source that showers you with data that you don’t really want. The people who Tweet, Facebook, or share the least that you should probably pay the most attention to.
7. Joke. Jokes are perfect teaching methods. If you can condense a tough concern into a funny joke (like political cartoonists do), you are adding value to the information and people appreciate this.
Remember that you are interacting with a real person not the computer; if you wouldn’t say it to their face, you probably shouldn’t type it online (this generally works for most people). There’s no need to let fly with every thought that runs through your consciousness.
Here are the links as discussed. The company (Spokeo) is huge and top notch and information publicly available does not get much more solid and concise.
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